On Fridays, Gypsy Mama holds a blog carnival where we all stop and write for five minutes – no editing, no over-thinking, just write. Care to join us?
This week’s topic is: Identity
Who am I, really? I feel like I don’t know sometimes. I’m a mother, and a wife, and so many other things… maybe too many other things. I feel like I’m failing in all of them so often these days – the house is not as clean as I want it to be, I don’t spend enough quality time with the kids, I’m not sure I’m preparing Brianna for school enough or in the right ways, I don’t have time to work out or have hobbies or…
My perceived failures define so much of who I think I am. I know that’s not healthy. I know it’s not really who I am, and somewhere, deep down, I know I’m not really failing at everything. But it’s so hard to break out of that rut, to see that sometimes good enough is just perfect, and to let it go. To see where I’m excelling, and to find my little blessings along the way. I get so bogged down in the process, in the day-to-day of it all, that I miss enjoying who I am and what my strengths are.
I’m pretty good at having fun, when I’m not stressed out. I like to laugh, and I can sing every song off the shows my kids like. I put dinner on the table, more nights than not. The house is certainly livable, even if it doesn’t measure up to my standards. I love my kids. I do well at work, often. I’m constantly working on improving, praying that God helps me change what I need to change about myself and my attitude.
These are the things I want to remember about me. That I’m not the failure I often identify myself as being.
So honest! How often we expect ourselves to live up to expectations we would never place on anyone else. I think we can feel like this some days. Your daughter won’t remember if your house was spotless. She’ll remember that her mom loved her. Blessings.
So many questions – directions – rest in His love.
Blessings,
Felecia
Thanks for your support, ladies. I know these are kind of common wife/mother/woman anxieties – I just have to keep my focus and not get bogged down in them!