On Fridays, Gypsy Mama holds a blog carnival where we all stop and write for five minutes – no editing, no over-thinking, just write. Care to join us?
This week’s topic is: Brave
I don’t think I am brave. I dodge conflict like a pro, waiting until things are almost unfixable (or worse) before dealing with them. I often still sleep with the baby monitors on. I avoid any kind of situation that could lead to confrontation.
But I also avoid deep friendships. Too often, starting a new friendship requires me to put myself out there and be brave, and all too often I shy away from that – because it might hurt. Or because i might fail. Because I’m not brave enough. What if they don’t like me? What if I’m all awkward and dumb? What if… I don’t even know. Too much worry. Not enough bravery.
Six years in this town, and I still feel like I haven’t put down roots. Because I’m not putting myself out there. I need to be brave – I need to actively seek out good friends and good situations. And I need to be brave, and try new things. But it’s hard. I need to stop whining! And do it!
Visiting from Gypsy Mama’s blog.
Your post is very honest and that takes bravery. Take small steps and you will get where you want to be. Good luck. =)
Oh that statement kicked me right in the gut. Six years and still no roots. I let that happen to me once too – you know what helped? Finding a church to attend (in this instance – a Vineyard). I still struggled against those who wanted to be friends and include me in their lives because if I was honest, I felt too broken to be loved.
I implore you to rail against that feeling! Its just the enemy isolating you.
Once I opened myself up to them God used me in such beautiful ways to minster to each and every one! I was forever blessed.
Blessings on your journey. Praying for you!
Felecia
Thanks, Felecia. I do have a church home here, I guess i just have a hard time connecting with people. I have a good bible study group, and love meeting with them on Wednesdays, but still don’t have anyone to call if I need to get out of the house one night and talk or need someone to watch my kids in an emergency.
I always feel like I’m asking someone to do me a favor, even if I’m inviting people out for dinner or something. I probably need to get over that, and it will be much easier.
Okay DeeDee … I’m still praying though that someone comes alongside that makes it easy for you to say “help!” We all need a girlfriend who understands and who you can trust in our lives.
Many blessings!
Felecia