Brooke: I want you to want to do the dishes.
Gary: Why would I want to do dishes?
~ The Break Up
In my ever-continuing quest to get things done around the house, one of the biggest challenge has been getting help from my family. Now, granted The Littles are well, too little to do much more than “help” (i.e., have a lot of fun but make the job ten times longer) while I do chores – and I let them as often as time/patience allow, because hello? I’d like to foster the idea that housework is fun! But I can’t keep up with the house at all without help from Chad. And therein lies my challenge.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to help, or doesn’t think he should help. It took me a long time to figure this out, but it’s honestly that he doesn’t know what needs to be done at any given time, and it’s easier to ignore it than figure it out. Hmm. I have the same problem.
So, after many arguments about who does what, and whether I should be in charge of it (he thinks yes, I think I’m not the cruise director), and after trying many, many systems (nagging, sulking, chore charts, honey-do lists, etc), we have arrived… at a system that works for now.
Every evening, Chad asks me what three things we need to get done. This is sometimes routine stuff that I’ve been putting off (folding laundry, dishes, etc), but more often it’s just things that need to get done, period.
I still determine what goes on the list. But because Chad asks, I feel like he’s involved in the process, and that he wants to help (yes, my brain is weird, just roll with me). Because there’s only three things, it’s not overwhelming. And honestly – we don’t always do all three things. It’s just a starting point. A direction.
Am I still doing chores after the kids go to bed? Sure. But picking three things to do every night allows me and Chad to work off the same list, and to feel like we’re actually making progress on something. Which, in turn, motivates us to do a little more sometimes. And thus, the house doesn’t fall into chaos quite as often.
Three things, works for me.
You can find more Works For Me Wednesday post over at We Are THAT Family.