Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
No you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I’d done
But I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
And you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared

[CHORUS:]
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE:]
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He’s coming

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
Your’re gonna soak the pillow
for many weeks
You’re gonna cry
Why?
Why me?

But in spite of the ache
that doesn’t go away
You’ll be sharing your story
one rainy day
And at the next table somebody catches your words
He hear’s a truth that he’s never heard
He takes it back to the marriage he’d given up on
Hands it down to his daughter
who writes it into song
You didn’t know

A thousand things are happening in this one thing
Like a thousand fields nourished by a single drop of rain
So honey, wrap yourself in promise
while you wait the morning light
A thousand things are happening tonight

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
“cause for the moment all that you can see
Is what you’ve lost , lost
Why me?

But in the midst of the most exquisite pain
you’re drawn into a peace that You cannot explain
and the praises you sing of a sovereign God
reach the girl whose last hope is gone
she never thought there was purpose in anything here
now the seed has been planted and it’s taking root there
You didn’t know

Chorus

A thousand things are happening tonight
You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
A thousand miracles you’ll have to wait and see

It was amazingly crazy.  Monday, I went to work, but came home before lunch because I was sick.  To be fair, I had been getting sick since Friday or so, but refused to admit it, and decided to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!!! over the weekend. Note to future self: do not clean all the things when you are getting sick.  Maybe just clean some of them, ok? So yeah, pretty much spent the day in bed.

Anyway.  Tuesday, I worked from home, still sick.  Wednesday I was feeling better, but was taking a vacation day so that Brianna could have her ear tubes removed…  except she was sick (not the same thing I had, naturally).  So we came home with her, and spent the day pushing fluids and tylenol and motrin and let me tell you, it was not awesome.

Thursday, she seemed better, so I sent her to school (um, bad mommy?).  She promptly threw up all over the place, and started running a fever, so I raced home again. And stayed home the day with her, trying to work, but not really succeeding.  Friday, Chad stayed home with still-sick Brianna as I frantically tried to get a weeks worth of work done in a day (fail).

There was a lot of crazy. And there were times that I was totally lost in it, overwhelmed and not sure I would survive.  But. There were also times, the times I made it a point to count my blessings and remember to trust God, that I knew that everything would work out.  And you know what? It did.  Brianna’s surgery will be rescheduled, possibly the same day as Benjamin’s ear tube placement (if he needs it).  My work will get done.  The house is actually a little cleaner today than it was last week (Chad helped a lot).  Somehow I’m caught up on laundry.  Slowly, I’m starting to see that it really does all work out (very slowly.  I’m stubborn).

So yeah.  The Lord really met me in the madness this past week, and I’m very thankful.

I never liked Mondays or bad news
Or breakin’ in new shoes
And mornings when I can’t find my phone
Nobody likes traffic or short nights
Or situps or long flights
But sometimes that’s just the way it goes
It’s funny what you use to help me grow…

So I’ll learn to love these days
Life along the way
In the middle of the crazy
God your love is so amazing
Through the ups and downs
You’re the only hope I’ve found
Lord you meet me in the madness

I’ll learn to love these days
I’ll learn to love these days

I can see a silver linin‘
When the sun’s not shinin’
Even when you choose to bring the rain
Oh, but I’m trustin your leadin’
‘Cause your Lord of all my joy and all my pain

So I’ll learn to love these days
Life along the way
In the middle of the crazy
God, your love is so amazing
Through the ups and downs
You’re the only hope I’ve found
Lord you meet me in the madness

I’ll learn to love these days
I’ll learn to love these days

I could wait the hundred years
You gave me here the days when you near
The days when I was out there
Lookin’ for what comes next
Oh, cause every minute,every hour, everyday
Is such a gift and I can say
I’m thankful for each day

So I’ll learn to love these days
Life along the way
In the middle of the crazy
God, your love is so amazing
Through the ups and downs
You’re the only hope I’ve found
Lord you meet me in the madness

I’ll learn to love these days
I’ll learn to love these days

~These Days, Mandisa