I’ve been kind of anti-social lately. Not sure exactly why (although being pretty busy has kind of helped it along). Also not sure if I’m really over it. For what it’s worth.

Maybe I’m just tired of reaching out. I feel like, all too often lately, I reach out to people only to have them walk off, leaving me standing there with my arm sticking out like an idiot. I guess that’s preferable to having them cut my arm off. But, metaphorically speaking, my arms are tired. I’m not sure what the solution to this is, but I’m pretty sure that it isn’t to board myself up in my house and become a hermit (and yet that’s more or less what I’m doing).

Anyway. If you haven’t seen me, that may be why.

In other news… I’ve been watching Deadliest Catch this season. I don’t know why I like that show so much, but I do… it’s pretty funny. The dynamics between the guys on each boat are interesting, too. Lots of families. Family dynamics are always interesting.

Summer has hit Houston, humidity and all. Everywhere, that is, except my office. As in, not the building I work in, by my particular room. Where it’s like, 50 degrees. and about 72 in the hallway. I’m waiting for little tornadoes to form in my doorway, seriously.

So Chad and I spent Thursday through Sunday in New York City. I had a class to take for Work (Friday and Saturday), so Chad decided to come with me and see the city. We had a great time! And did a great deal of the touristy stuff available in Manhattan. Our hotel was at Lexington and 48th, which made everything really convenient (We were about five blocks form Grand Central Station).

1. We saw a play on Broadway – Macbeth, starring Patrick Stewart. Fan. Freaking. Tastic. Seriously. (Chad also saw Phantom of the Opera, while I was in class).
2. We saw Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Radio City Music Hall, 5th Ave, and Central Park.
3. While on 5th Ave, we went to FAO Schwartz, which is only the most awesomest toy store eVar. Toys-R-Us at Times square is a close second.
4. We ate New York style pizza, deli sammiches, and food form a pub, but skipped the hot dogs from the hot dog vendors (when we were ready to eat, we almost always wanted to sit down).
5. We road the subway from grand central station to the downtown area, saw the Statue of liberty (this took two tries, as it was foggy the first time), the World Trade Center (it’s a big hole in the city, you can’t miss it), and the American Stock Exchange.
6. We took the subway uptown a bit, and went to the Met. We only spent two hours or so there, but it was awesome. I could have easily spent weeks there. Easily.

All in all, the trip was a success. And we arrived home safely. Yay!

In other news, Music Choice on demand has a special this month: Snoop Dogg: Does Starkville. Seriously. I had to watch it, just because Starkville is NEVER the subject of this kind of thing. It’s only six minutes long, an it manages to make Starkville look like a hell hole, full of poor people and run down houses, and two drunk frat boys. *sigh* I’m not sure what I was expecting. But that wasn’t it.

In general, I over-analyze things. By “things” here, I mean everything: conversations, emails, body language, the importance of what is for dinner, etc. I have this sometimes crippling fear that someone, somewhere, will be mad at me for something. That they (whoever they are), in fact, might be mad at me right at this very moment. So I spend a great deal more time than I should trying to figure out who (if anyone) is mad at me, and what I did to cause this, and how I can make it better.

Amazingly often, I talk myself into believing that someone is mad at me (even when they aren’t), and I get all stressed out about it, and (when I’ve exhausted my other options for trying to make this better without actually communicating the fact that I think they are mad at me) I resort to some more adult method of dealing with my problems: I avoid said people in person while saying vague, snarky, passive-aggressive things about them on my blog. Then, if (by chance) I find out that they were not, in fact, mad at me in the first place, I feel guilty.

Occasionally, though, I don’t realize that people are mad at me until long after the fact, when whatever it was that made them mad in the first place is now so huge that it causes them to avoid me entirely. Then I feel guilty for having missed whatever secret sign that I was looking for in all my over-analyzing. All the while, telling everyone else that it doesn’t really bother me.

The moral of the story? I should stop over-analyzing and get over myself Generally, I don’t get it right, and even if I do I can’t really change anything. People who value relationships generally will let you know when you’ve seriously upset them (you know, before they can’t stand being around you any more).

That being said, I really enjoyed church yesterday. It was the first time I’d really felt home there… I don’t know how to describe it. It was nice to have people stop to talk to me and know my name. Joining a women’s small group wasn’t what I expected, but I’m glad I’ve stuck with it… it has certainly helped with feeling like I’m a part of something, and is encouraging me to reach out into other small groups.

My mission for the year: don’t over-analyze interactions with people at church. They aren’t all mad at me.