Here I am procrastinating even more… I have a take-home quiz due tomorrow… and circuits homework due on Wednesday (like, several hours worth)… and a lab due Wednesday and one due thursday, and a test re-work due friday, and other random crap and stuff to do… and I don’t feel like doing any of it. So I’m not… not right now anyway. I’ll prob’ly finish the quiz sometime before I go to sleep… which will be sometime after I talk to Chad. Which will be sometime after he finishes eating…

Speaking of eating… I tried to explain to Chad that popcorn was a perfectly healthy meal, and he didn’t understand… I mean, really… I have three of the four main food groups: bread, butter, and salt. Throw in an oatmeal cream pie and that covers the sugar food group, leaving you with a very well-balanced meal. Right? *sigh*… I’m just to lazy to eat right. blah.

I’m almost out of things to do to procrastinate, though… I checked my e-mail… I read all the online comics I keep up with (and a few others)… I fixed a bug in my lab program…. I installed a new program (X-win32)… I ate food… I checked my e-mail… I contemplated why a complex peice of electrical equipment would be sold without instructions… I contemplated the color pink…. I ate food… I blogged… I contemplated why girls suck… I checked my e-mail… I read blogs… I thought about going to the lab… I talked to my brother… I am blogging… all while holding a conversation with William… I am so talented.

Or something. Or hung’ry… maybe I am hung’ry… oh well. I need to check my e-mail

grr. I am sick, and Esa is depressed. Bad combination. the really sucky part is, I’m too sick to care enough to ask enough questions to figure out what’s wrong with her… this is what happened:

Saturday, she stepped on the scale and burst into tears (may I point out that Elisa doesn’t cry very often?)… I asked he what was wrong, and she said she’s gained 6 pounds. And she thinks she’s fat because her jeans fit? or something… so, not feeling great, I kinda shrugged it off as something she would get over…. and she went and cried on Ian for a while.

Sunday, I didn’t go to church because I was sick and I had stuff to do (bad combination)… so I got up and got started on stuff a few minutes before Esa and Ian got back from church. Elisa informed me upon entering the room that Ian needed to use the computer (translation: Ian needs to use *my* computer, because he is to cheap to buy DSL and AOL dial-up is frickin’ slow). So, not feeling like putting up a fight with a roommate that had been not entirely stable the day before, I vacated my computer chair for Ian. Ian got online, and registered Elisa with Career Services… and then informed her that her GPA was too low to qualify her for any interviews… which I could have told him before he registered her… but ok. So she, once again, dissolves into tears because no one will ever hire her, not even Wal-mart, or a grocery store, they all think she’s stupid… and Ian calmed her down and took her out to lunch…

And today, I got up to go to lab (having slept through class due to a Nyquil hangover), and Esa was crying again. And she told me how unfair it was that she had worked six years for a degree that noone would let her use, and if she took a nontechnical job, her degree would be useless in two years, and she owes her parents a bizillion dollars for putting her through school, and they want payments starting 6 months after she graduates, and she’s going to die because she can’t get a job….. And I tried to tell her to wait it out… keep looking and don’t gve up, she doesn’t graduate until May anyway… and she said that if she didn’t have a job by December, chances were she wouldn’t get one…. So, knowing how devout a christian she claims to be, I asked her why she thought God would get her all the way through school and then drop her? And she informend me that God had nothing to do with her getting through school, if He had she would have gotten all A’s and finished in 4 years, and all He ever promised us was food and clothes, not an education or a job or a husband.

Silly me, I thought God was bigger than all that. But maybe I was wrong… it just seems kind of pointless to serve a God who isn’t powerful or careing enough to get me a job, or, for that matter, a God that has no contacts in the engineering world.

So now I know why people in my dorm (including me) have been sick all semester…. we have an infestation of bats (like, more than 200 of them) in the walls on the top floors, and they are doing wonderful things to the air conditioning ducts…. and all that wonderful (and aromatic) bacteria is blowing through the vents onto us, the students that pay for this crap, no pun intended. What is The University doing about it? Ummm… at the moment, nothing… they are thinking about using poison, but their not sure how that’s going to sit with the Alumni (think of all those poor helpless bats)… traps are out of the question… there’s too many, for one thing.

So my question is this…. why do they charge me exorbitant fees to live in this dorm? Why do I put up with this? How did the bats get in the walls in the first place? Why do I not hear them at night? Are they fruit bats? Was the boy injured? Is the canoe wood, or aluminum? …. wait, off subject…

I feel really far away from everything today… don’t know why. I’m away from my family, when I feel like they need me… I’m away from Chad, because I’m still in school… I’m away from Elisa, because, lets face it, we haven’t really communicated in the last year or so… I’m away from most of the Wesley crowd, because they are all in Southaven/Memphis this weekend for the Willie Nelson concert… I just feel distant. Detached. Out of place. I can’t concentrate on anything…. except bats. I’m really not that far away from the bats. Not that I mind bats… their kind of cool, when they aren’t carrying rabies… and aren’t in my dorm. Grr.

Take, take till there’s nothing, nothing to turn to.

Nothing when You get through.

Won’t You break, scatter pieces of all I’ve been.

Bowing to all I’ve been running to.

I, I got a question.

I got a question – Where are You?

Did you leave me unbreakable?

Leave me frozen?

I’ve never felt so cold.

I thought You were silent.

I thought You left me for the wreckage and the waste.

On an empty beach of faith.

Was it true?

Scream, deeper I wanna scream.

I want You to hear me, I want You to find me.

I want to believe but all I pray is wrong

and all I claim is gone.

I, I got a question.

I got a question – Where are You?

Where are You?

–Jars Of Clay, Silence

Just in case you were wondering…. Rain is nice. But it screws up networks. And floods dorms. But not my dorm, because I’m on the 5th floor And it cancels class, sometimes, too, if things start blowing up in the building you are supposed to have class in. So instead of going to class, you get to go jump in puddles

Rain is nice.

This sums up my life lately… anyone relate?

I’m not dead…. or at least not all the way dead…. Let me explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up.

So school is really kicking my butt this semester. Partially because I have so many dadgum hours (see, unlike some people I know *cough*Chad*cough* I can’t take a bizillion hours and make straight A’s…. I can usually take about 16-18 hours in the fall and make more A’s than B’s, but this semester is different)…. Partially I think it’s due to stress. My Granny is in the hospital in Huntsville, my uncle is in the hosiptal in Birmingham, and my mom is killing herself trying to work nights at the hospital and spend days in ICU with Granny…. and I’m here, at school, trying to be normal. Meanwhile, my brother was here for what was supposed to be a week, and Grandmother was going to come and get him…. but since Uncle Billy went into the hospital, she’s not coming until Saturday, which make two weeks of little brother…. which is also stressing me out. And my circuits TA is an ass… and since I’m stressed, I’m fighting with Chad over silly things, which stresses me out more…. So I think I can fit in a nervous breakdown around Sunday or so, but I’m not sure… I don’t have time to think about it.

And I really don’t have time to blog, but I thought everyone might like to know that I’m still here. or something. Anyway… I have a prelab due tomorrow…. I guess I need to go get that done….

Reality is for people who lack imagination….. I think that’s my new motto. Or it should be. grrr.

ok…. since my last post I…. have done very little, actually. I went home. Sort of…. I went back to H’ville anyway. The hospital there isn’t exactly home yet…. although it might become that. My car is broke. I think it’s mad at me. I made up with it over the whole Elisa thing, and i got it to run, but it got mad when I tried to take it home, so I made it time out for the weekend in Tupelo…. And William took me home. But after a weekend time out, The Bug is still sulky and refusing to run….. So I have a list of things I need to look at, most of which involve taking apart the engine. Grr. And I have’t had time to do any of it yet….. we’ll see what happens today.

And I’m generally having a crappy week. But it’s friday, and the weekend can’t be worse than my week, right? Maybe, maybe, maybe… the Dawgs will even win the game. But I’m trying not to hope for too much. Going to the game will be nice anyway.

my computer comes back tonight… my computer comes back tonight…. yay for me!!

Back in the real world…. I am coming off of a long weekend… long weekends are good, but tomorow (when I have to go to class… ) is really going to suck. So this is a summary of what I did this weekend:

Friday, I had grand plans to work on The Bug and make it very happy, or at least a liitle more so than it was… I was oging to scrub out the floor pan and replace it, and caulk up the drippy spots on the hood, and rewire the electric choke. But my roommate came home frm class and asked me if I would mind checking her fluid levels in her car…. since of course, I know everything about cars. At this point, knowing Esa, I should have asked what else was involved… it can never be something simple…. but no, I fell for it. 6 hours later, William and I had flushed out the radiator on her car and refilled it, inspected her brakes, suspension bolts, and exaust system, adjusted her parking brake, cross rotated her tires, and refused to bleed her brakes and refill them. Oh yeah, and I think we checked the fluid levels too…. grrr. So Will and I went out to dinner (Taco Bell), and started our weekend Kevin Smith Marathon… We watched Clerks and Mallrats. And then my car refused to run (I thinkit was offended because I broke our date for a Honda)

Saturday I went thrift store shopping…. and it was fun. And then William and I watched Chasing Amy and Dogma. And my carr still wouldn’t start.

Sunday, I went ot church and stuff, and then called my mom who had been trying to get ahold of me all morning. My granny (Mom’s mom) had an accidnet on the way to church, and is in the hospital…. all in all, she made out ok, considering she hit an SUV head on… but she still had three broken ribs, a fractured pelvis, her liver was lacerated, and she took a chunk out of her forehead…. she’ll be in surgical ICU for a couple of days, but they expect her to be ok. So while i was waiting for updates from mom (who was at the hospital with Granny) , I worked on my bug…. I got the choke rewired (so it starts now…. yay!) and a couple other things done…. Then i went ot dinner with William and Paul, and we went to the Wesley and watched To Be Or Not To Be (Mel Brooks). Oh yeah, and I made a late night trip to Wal-Mart….

Today I slept until like, 11am…. then Neil called at 11:30 to tellme about his weekend…. then I did homework… and did homework… and did homework….. but I’m not done yet. *sigh* My applet still won’t work. anyway…. so now I’m thinking about food…. food woud be good.