Hey… just took the Nerd Test… It told me I was 111.14% nerd… which put me above Bill gates (100%) and
George W. Bush (110) and just below Dilbert (125%). Wow. I’m almost as nerdy as Dilbert. That’s awesome 
being sick is not fun. blah. except for an hour when i went to class to turn in my paper, and a few minutes when i realized that i had better e-mail my teachers and tell them i wouldn’t be at my other classes, i have spent the entire day in bed. until now. when i had to be in lab. blah. lab is no fun when you’re sick. my program isn’t working, and my head hurts to bad to debug it right now. but hopefully they’ll pass the roll around soon and i can leave. maybe. and then i can get some food… maybe subway or something. and go to bed. and sleep. sleep is good.
Get this… my roommate just handed me a shopping list. Canned asparagus, fat-free sugar-free yogurt, fish fillets (unbreaded), shrimp, and oranges. That’s what she plans to live on between now and spring break.. oh yeah, and some rice cakes. She’s convinced that if she doesn’t lose 8 pounds, her boyfriend will break up with her when he sees her in a bathing suit. To put this all in perspective… she’s 5’6”, and weighs just under 135 pounds. Most of which is muscle. She tried on a bathing suit the other day, and I could count her ribs. You can’t convince me that she’s fat. But, on the other hand, you can’t convince her that she isn’t… so I guess I’m making a grocery store run tonight.
In other news, some little punky blonde guy had a “sexual experience” this past weekend. And, for some godawful reason, decided he had to tell me about it. All about it. See, him and his ladyfriend (not girlfriend) from back home (we won’t say what I think of her… that’s another story) got together and decided that they were both “sexually frustrated.” I’ll spare you the gory details, but basically, they parked somewhere and felt each other up for about an hour. Normally, the only thing that would bother me about this situation is that he described it so graphically… but, once again, hypocrisy rears its ugly head. Don’t get me wrong… this isn’t a religion thing. I hardly consider this dude’s religion to be the same as mine… although we (usually) attend the same church, we have almost totally different views on religion, and in fact life in general. But… I have talked to him enough to know that, although his moral standards are somewhat different than mine, he does (at least ideologically) have moral standards. And the moral code that he claims to ascribe to tends to frown on fooling around in the back seat of a car with someone you have no commitment to (legal, emotional, or otherwise).
Normally, I’m too busy trying to get the two-by-four out of my eyes to help other people get the dust out of theirs… But this one hit me pretty hard. Not only did this guy violate his own moral code… he was proud of it! He was excited… like he had done something really grand. He even tried to rationalize everything to me… it wasn’t really wrong, because he didn’t derive any sexual pleasure out of it… it wasn’t really wrong, because they’re never going to do it again. It wasn’t really wrong, because they were so sexually frustrated.
And he doesn’t understand why I’m upset. I’m not upset because he fooled around with his friend. I’m not even upset that he did something he told me he was totally against. It happens. People make mistakes, change their minds, yada, yada, yada. I’m upset because he is proud that he did it. And yet he still claims to believe in the same moral code… dadgum it, what’s the point of having morals if you’re going to be proud about violating them?
I may be wrong, but I was under the impression that, no matter what your religion, whatever moral code you hold outlines the life you strive for. No one, or at least very few, can be “perfectly” moral according to their beliefs. Therefore, people should try to live morally, and when they screw up, they should brush themselves off, deal with the consequences, and move on. Not call people up and say, “hey, guess what awesome thing I did this weekend?”
Have morals transitioned from being boundaries that are not to be crossed, into being fences that we challenge ourselves to climb?
I understand that people make mistakes. I make mistakes. A lot. But I try not to broadcast my mistakes to the world… those who need to know get told, and those who don’t… well, its none of their business.
Ok, enough about morals. I know this is going to get turned into a religious debate in comments, but oh well… I tried. Blogs are for writing what you feel, and I happen to feel very strongly about this today. Which prob’ly explains why I’m in such a poor mood. At least partially.
Speaking of poor moods and amoral people… I saw Robert on campus today. Which sucks. Immensely. He didn’t speak to me… I managed to get lost in the crowd heading into Butler. But now I know he’s here. So I’m pretty much stuck in my room anytime I don’t have an escort. No more late night trips to the library, I guess. Plus, my supply of escorts seems to be running a little short… everyone’s studying for midterms. Blah. God I hate being a girl. Oh well… I’ll get over it. I doubt he’ll be here more than a week or so. And spring break is coming up, so I get to go home.
Tim and I are the only people going home in Elisa’s car… she’s going to Miami with Ian, and Silas is going to Fort Worth. So we’re gonna have fun *grin* I told him I’d bring all my CDs, and a couple of packages of everlasting gobstoppers… we’ll turn the radio up, and sing, and eat candy all the way to Huntsville. *grin* It’ll be great.
Wow… hadn’t realized how long this was. Sorry. I guess I had better stop ranting before I blow up the blog. Hmmmm… I wonder how many characters a blog can hold before it blows up? Or does it have a limit? Interesting… I may have to do some research *grin*.
Today was a sucky day. I got yelled at by a teacher who told me I had no grasp of the English language, and no mathematics skills, and should be an education major. Grrrr.
And the day was long. And I was ordered to “look like a girl” so I could go out to dinner with Neil and his best friend from back home… but Brent bailed out until tomorrow (unbeknownst to me). And (still unbeknownst to me), Neil and Chris and Amanda decided to go to the mall in Tupelo, and decided I was coming with them.
I was informed about all of this at 3pm… and we were supposed to leave at 3:30… and I still had to shower and get “girlified.” So we left at 4, with everyone else kind of dragging me along. But by the time we got to the mall, Amanda had put me in an ok mood. We went to American Eagle, Gap, all the prep stores. And nothing fit me. And it was all way expensive.
So I was getting frustrated… but then we went to Express. You have to understand that nothing Express has ever made has fit me… their models are not my body type at all. But, somehow, I found (on the clearance rack no less) the cutest littlest black skirt you have ever seen. I mean… ok, it’s not that short… but it’s shorter than I normally wear. And it looks damn good on me. Even Neil said so (and it takes a lot for Neil to notice something like that). And it makes me happy. And I think Chad will like it *grin*
And then, after dinner, we went to Body Shop… which Neil thought was skanky, but Amanda and I thought was fun. And let me tell you… I bought the awesomest outfit. And a black velvet dress, too. But the outfit is the coolest… Get this: Black leather lace-up skirt. And a black, fluffy, filmy, transparent peasant shirt. I look like a fell out of a Renn Fest. Or a group of high school Goths. Either image is pretty funny. So I have an outfit for Gulf Wars… but I’m not sure where else I can wear it yet.
But I’m wearing my short black skirt tomorrow *grin* I should get some looks. Oh, and make an extremely odd impression on Neil’s friend (I can see it now… “Neil, I have to tell you something. Your friend Dee… she’s a ho.”) Right… anyway. So it’ll be fun. And I’ll look like a girl, which means I’m following orders *grin*
So, a little while ago, I’m talking to this guy I know… A guy from the Wesley, someone who has served on different church committees and it really involved… someone who carries the biggest Bible to church, and sings the loudest, and volunteers the most… the kind of person that people at the Wesley look at and say, “Wow. That guy really knows what’s going on. He must be a really strong Christian.”
But I know how it really is. He’s told me about his porn habits, his problems with hateful thoughts, his past… So I asked him, “How do you reconcile your life with your faith? I mean, if God means so much to you, shouldn’t He be a part of you life more than just on Sundays and Tuesdays?”
And said guy replies with, “Well… See, I’m a Christian. But I’m not perfect.” (ok, I can deal with this. I’m hardly a saint myself) Then he goes on to explain his outlook on life, which goes something like this:
God sent Jesus to die as a sacrifice for our sins (check). God loves us (check). God wants us to be happy (check). I’m happy looking at porn and sleeping with every girl I meet, and since Jesus died to forgive my sin, it’s already paid for. So I can do whatever I want. Besides, a loving God could never send people to Hell.
I said, ok, but what about the verses in the Bible that say not to “abuse the liberty” that saves us? He said, “oh yeah…. See, I’m not sure about the whole Bible thing.”
Not sure about the whole Bible thing?!?! I may be a little behind here, but the last time I checked, most of Christianity is based on the Bible. How can you claim Christianity and be “not sure about the whole Bible thing”?
People who are lukewarm drive me nuts. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a “everyone in the world should be Christian” rant… It really doesn’t matter to me what you believe. If you ask my opinion, I’ll tell you that you’re wrong and I’m right… but, dadgum it, whatever you believe, you should really believe in. I can’t stand people who are half-way anything. I consider myself to be a devout Christian… but I respect anyone that is devout. Devout anything.
Whatever you believe, know a little about it. Don’t leave out parts, or skip over parts, or claim to be something you know nothing about. That’s just frustrating to everyone else.
*grrr*
ok, enough religion ranting. I can apply this to general life. Basically, my theory on life can be summed up like this:
Whatever you do, do your best. *or* Don’t leave the job half done.
Which means, while I’m here at school, I need to spend my time concentrating on doing well in my classes. People who say, “Oh, I only need a C in this class to graduate… guess I won’t study” piss me off. Why settle for being a C-student, when you can be an A-student?
I guess the purpose of this whole rant is to say that I hate mediocrity.
Ok… I’ve taken up enough time and space for this. Now I have to go study *sigh*
I know… I’m supposed to be working. But I’m upset, now, dadgum it, and I can’t work when I’m upset. And Chad’s at karate, so I can’t call him and rant about it… and my roommate’s gone… so here goes:
So I ran into one of my boys online a little bit ago… wait, rewind… for those of you who don’t know about my boys, I guess I had better explain.
My boys are the group of guys that I watch out for, feed, comment on their love lives, nag, and otherwise take care of (like a Mom away from home *grin*). With each new set of freshmen, I usually adopt two or three new pets. Sometimes, for one reason or another (usually a girlfriend takes my place), I lose track of one or two of my boys…
So this particular guy was my “project” last semester. I about killed myself trying to get him to pass his classes… But, due to freshman stupidity and lack of study skills, he managed to fail several of them anyway. This semester, he stopped coming to Wesley, and I couldn’t get a hold of him (I tried to call him a few times, but could never reach him). So I figured he had moved on to bigger and better things…
But I ran into him online today. I just thought I’d say hi, maybe see how he was doing, you know… I asked him how he was… and opened up a floodgate of crap. Basically, to sum up our conversation, his life is very quickly going to hell in a hand basket. All because of a girl (of course). I hate girls. They always *always* are at the root of problems my boys have. Girls suck. Anyway… due to his inexperience and (again) freshman stupidity, and this stupid girl, he is currently undergoing all kinds of horribly unpleasant medical tests… and has tested positive for Hepatitis B, among other things.
And I wasn’t there.
I wasn’t there to keep calling him until he gave up and called me back. I wasn’t there to meet his girl and tell him she was a skank. I wasn’t there to remind him to be responsible. I wasn’t there for him to lean on when she dumped him. Or when he came to his senses, and realized he might have problems. I wasn’t there to cry with him when he got his test results back…
I’ve been so wrapped up in my own little world, in my own little circle of close friends, that I forgot to listen to what was going on around me. I forgot to reach out to people… And I left this guy to face his problems alone.
What kind of person does that make me?
Maybe I can get him to come to dinner with some people this week… try to get him back on his feet, get him to make some good guy friends… guys who will beat him over the head when he starts to do something stupid. I don’t know. I don’t know when I’m going to have time to cook again… I feel like I should do something… but I don’t know what.
I just want to make everything all better. And I can’t. And it’s not fair.
I wanted to post earlier… but homework got in the way, and then I was called over to cut Neil’s hair. Which, by the way, turned out really well *grin*
So… Valentine’s Day. My Valentine’s Day was wonderful Chad sent me the awesomest present… he took a pane of glass and used a laser engraver (at the lab at school) to engrave a poem on it… and framed it and sent it to me… and, of course, it says just the perfect things *grin* Chad always knows what to say… And he sent me this wonderful card…
Ok, I know… enough mush. Anyway… My Valentine’s Day was spent mostly in class, and partially asleep. I didn’t want to sit in my room and stare at the wall and sulk because Chad isn’t here, so I convinced Brian to go out to dinner… we went to Captain D’s… which was fun… until Brian got sick 
Oh my goodness… There were these two huge women there with their little boy. One of them was talking on her cell phone, and she sent the other one to pick up the food… and the woman spilled tea all over the table. The woman on the cell phone said “Oh, Jesus” and started laughing… and the little boy (who couldn’t have been more than 4) stated saying “Oh Jesus… Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Oh Jesus… Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” It was so funny… he was so serious, too.
Nevermind…. You don’t think it’s funny. I guess you had to be there….. Anyway, following dinner, I came back here and talked to Chad And then I went back to Brian’s, and watched part of America’s Funniest Home Videos… and then Godzilla (the newest one)… and then police chase stuff (which was very funny). All in all, we had a great time. I have to admit, it was one of the best Valentine’s Day I’ve spent without a boyfriend in town. It was cool
And now I really have too much homework… and definitely not enough time to do it… so you may not heard from me for a couple days *sigh*
Oh yeah…. Neil is a dumbass… he almost killed himself last night with a bottle of beer. He was trying to open it and (apparently quite drunk at this time) broke it and put a three inch gash in his wrist. Of course, being drunk, he thought this to be hilariously funny, and had to send me pictures of everything involved. It looks pretty nasty… It’s pretty deep and I thought he needed stiches, and some antiseptic… but he just rinsed it out with water and wraped it up in guaze. I bet he has a huge infection by the end of next week… all because he will not listen
Sorry I haven’t updated… I have been hip-deep in homework all week. Here’s me week in a nutshell:
High point: Busted a curve on a Computer Science test. I made a 98. The guy next to me made the next highest grade, which was a 74. The average was a 60. And the teacher didn’t curve because I made a 98. It’s a nice feeling, everyone in a while, to really screw people over *evil grin*
Second high point: Dr. Dewey made us do Judo… and I flipped a guy Chad’s size!!!!! It was like, Wham!! And he was on the mat. And it made me very happy. Now people are scared of me
Low point: Dr. Dewey made us to Judo, and I got flipped a lot… so all my muscles hurt. Scratch that…. All the muscles on the right side of my body hurt. Everything on the left side is bruised. Oh well.
Second low point: I have spent a bizillion hours on homework this week… and I’m not sure I got that much done. I still have 2 programs, 2 lab reports, a physics test, 3 quizzes and a paper to finish before the end of next week… but hopefully, the weekend will help.
In response to Brian’s rant today… Valentine’s day was created by the greeting card companies. So were Mother’s day, Father’s day, Grandparent’s day, and any other seemingly pointless holiday you can think of. The only reason that Valentine’s Day is different is 1) it makes people feel pitiful for themselves if they do not have a significant other, or if their significant other is a million miles away. And 2) the candy companies are in on it too *grin* It’s all an evil communist plot.
And so, for Valentine’s Day, I refuse to sit in my room and sulk. I will not be like everyone else!!! So I’m dragging Brian out to Captain D’s. Then I’m going to come home and talk to Chad for the few minutes that he’ll be home, exchange presents and get all mushy and stuff… and then Brian and I are going to do something else. Not sure what though… He doesn’t have any “assignments” for me today, and we deduced that all the hotel rooms in StarkVegas are full…. So that’s out. Oh well. We’ll think of something *grin*